Long ago, when I was caught up in the web created by my Mother (whom I believe was being used by the dark angel I call Lermontov) I found myself in need of a topic for my undergraduate honors degree. I was horrified by what looked to me to be spiritually depraved behavior on the part of my birth family toward me and this great gift of die zauberflote that I had sworn to do my best to protect (even though that backfired).
While I was away from Bucknell, at the University of Edinburgh, I spent a year studying Shakespeare (plus two history courses). Every day there was a lecture on a different play. I sat in the drafty, cavernous lecture hall, able to see my breath, listening with what should have been rapt attention. But, instead, I found myself distracted. While studying in the English lit study hall (where the U provided copies of all textbooks, so no one had to buy them) I had discovered Ben Jonson. I found that he, though living in the shadow of Will Shakespeare, was also a dynamic and controversial dramatist. I began to feel a kinship toward his use of satire, especially when it came to the hypocrisy of the Puritans, who were running rampant at that time in Elizabethan England. I found we had something in common that Will and I did not — a strong distaste for religious and spiritual hypocrisy with the end of fraudulent financial gain.
And so my thesis developed. Why was it that Jonson seemed to go out of his way to take them on? What was their response to him? Were the same agendas he was writing about then applicable to me and my situation now? Yes, I decided. And so my paper developed. It has now been published online: http://digitalcommons.bucknell.edu/honors_theses/343/
When I wrote this paper I had no idea what I would yet have to face –thank goodness, as I would have been overwhelmed. As I work today to untangle myself and die zauberflote from what I call the ‘vortex of the evil eye’ that took Wolf’s life before his time and has tried to silence me forever, I find that I must comment on the behavior of some of the nest of those with ill-intent who are blocking me. Their common denominator seems to be that they call themselves “Christians”, yet they are comfortable with having murderous ill intent toward me and my children. Of course, since humility and righteousness are prerequisites for any of us actually being able to call ourselves Christians, the world that they live in is probably that of the ‘working of error’, or what I call the Kingdom of the Night. It is ruled by — you guessed it — the dark angel, Lermontov. And so they gather around and try to seek out any whiff of weakness in me while whirling like dervishes, comfortable that any agenda will remain hidden, while they try to ‘steal’ die zauberflote and use it against God’s will to make money for themselves, thinking that they will stay free of consequences (while conveniently forgetting what happened to Saphira and Ananias!)…
So, in a sense, perhaps nothing has changed since Jonson’s day after all….:-0
M4B=Mozart For Believers