A Simple Christmas…M4B*

Because of the persecution at the hands of my birth family, which included being systematically poisoned in their attempts to control this great gift of shalom that is die zauberflote and try to use it against God’s will, Christmas has a special meaning for me. I learned it the hard way. At the time, I could not understand why it seemed that God had abandoned me to people who insisted on turning themselves into monsters. Yet nonetheless I willingly stood in ankle-deep icy mud, at times with tears running down my face, and sang Christmas carols with the neighborhood children in my hometown of Fairfield, Connecticut. Although I came to realize that the persecution would intensify during the holidays, I fairfield house vnever lost my love of every piece of music connected to Yeshua, the Messiah.

But much of the hooplah came to make me quite miserable. The tree, the tinsel, the cotton batting on the mantle with a cardboard sleigh and reindeer, and of course, “Santa Claus” — whoever that was — came to represent to me an abyss of hopelessness.

“Let’s have our Christmas!” my Mother would chuckle, as she got out her notepad to record which gift was from whom, so we could immediately send thank-you notes for everything under the tree.

Well, that was it. The Bible sat dusty and untouched on a bookshelf, and everything swirled around who got what. And of course, I seemed to end up with items I had never wished for nor could ever use. That seemed to be part of the orchestration.

At the time, being quite young, it was all very confusing. Now, looking back, I can see how God has used everything for good, for I literally cannot tolerate anything having to do with Christmas that does not directly lift up the Lord Jesus Christ. I no longer ‘celebrate’ what I call ‘Xmas’. No tree. No lights. No wrappings. Just the music. And The Presence.

And I am richly blessed…I invite you to do the same…:-)

*M4B=Mozart For Believers

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The ‘big secret’ that wasn’t….M4B*

If any of the countless people who have tried to destroy die zauberflote, and me in the process (Mr. Schrickel, for one), had bothered to ask me if I had any understanding that there was a good possibility I had been systematically poisoned as a child by my Mother so that she could ‘control’ me and, of course the position associated with being the heir of Wolf’s legacy, and try to use substance connected to die zauberflote for herself, I would have said, ‘well, of course I did.’

What sort of happy, carefree child, healthy as a horse, who finds themself suddenly sick as a dog, while their usually hostile Mother, suddenly switches into helpful-nurse mode — serving up ginger ale with shaved ice and saltines — wouldn’t, after a few such episodes start to ask, ‘what is really going on here?’

And so, yes, I was aware of what was taking place. Being able to get out of the situation in one piece was another matter entirely. To complicate matters even more, I was forced to attend and participate in a church I can, in retrospect, only call apostate. What I was apparently supposed to ‘learn’ by this false church is that God was unable to help me and did not favor me so would not help me either.

My hope was to escape to New York City and find help there. But rather than going to a conservatory, I ended up being kicked out of the Fairfield house by my Mother with $30 to my name (while she withheld my childhood savings account which had a significant amount of money) after I had managed to find a job outside of music in New York. She demanded I quit. I refused.

My Father almost died by his own hand in that house. He took rat poison in the basement. Did he realize what she was doing? Was he a part of it? I will never know for certain from their lips because neither of them talked, and they are both now gone.

The behavior of the one surviving birth family member, on the other hand, speaks volumes to me. The fact that I outlived our Mother seems to have stunned this person, who quickly moved to a small West-African country without extradition to the US (where, in the state of Connecticut, attempted murder has no statute of limitations) this person darts around the US during the summer, hiding at times even in the homes of some of my family members. This person claims to be a Christian surrounded with a ‘cloud of witnesses’. Needless to say, this is lawless behavior. Is this person,as a CT States Attorney cautioned me, looking for an accomplice to finish what my Mother began? I hope not, but I do not know. Will this person repent of their involvement in this murderous agenda? I certainly hope so…

I do know that I have been healed and delivered of all the damage inflicted on me in that house by the power and grace of the gift of Holy Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ that is die zauberflote!

*M4B=Mozart For Believers

Was Mozart poisoned? *M4B

During the 80’s, the intellectual and musical community went into something of an uproar over the question of whether or not Wolfgang Mozart had been poisoned.  This was largely due, of course, to the outrageous play and then movie, AMADEUS.  Wolf was presented as an irresponsible, narcissistic person, who had a hard time getting along with people, and as a result, suffered a miserable and premature death.  But was it murder?  Did Mozart’s rival at the court, Antonio Salieri, actually poison him?  In AMADEUS, the conspiracy is trolled throughout the movie, but it is never specifically identified.  There is no scene of Salieri offering Wolf  a glass of wine laced with arsenic.  There is no plot devised as to just how this would have taken place.  It is all left up to our imaginations — and just as the movie’s offhand references to a ‘magic flute’ leaves us with only whispers of what might have happened.

When we look a bit deeper into the underlying aspects of AMADEUS we do find, oddly, that Salieri apparently did ‘confess’ to poisoning Wolf late in life.  When Ludwig Beethoven found out about this possibility, however, he jumped to his teacher, Salieri’s, defense.  Even more odd, Wolf himself said that he felt like he was being poisoned with acqua toffana by someone who had estimated the exact time of his death.  That sounds rather like ritual murder, don’t you think?  Wouldn’t researchers go diving headfirst into this possible conspiracy to murder the greatest musician of his day?  But no.  Instead, we find the ‘serious’ historians poo-pooing the idea and chastising anyone who finds anything about it credible.  This is what AMADEUS does.  It belittles even Wolf’s own statements, as well as Salieri’s, so that we are supposed to be left with the thought that poor old Mozart just caught a bad cold or something and died.  Sob, sob…

However, if we look at Mozart’s gift from a Christian perspective, we can open a door that has, until now, remained bolted shut.  If Wolf had an extra gift, an unusual gift, that everyone wanted to steal so nobody would confirm to him, his life takes on a different meaning. If, everywhere he went, he was being sandbagged by people pretending to be friends only to trick him and cheat him of what he had rightfully earned, some of his actions that have not made sense now might. Wolf was excoriated for his sarcasm.  If someone were tricking you, leading you into losing situations, slandering you behind your back, and trying to cause you to end up in the poorhouse, just how would you react?

If Wolf’s unusual gift were a gift of the Holy Spirit, how would that affect his life?  It could only be used in kindness and forgiveness.  It could not be used for personal gain.  It could only point to and honor Jesus.  It could, then, tell him the truth about every situation he was in and protect him from all harm.

Just what connection might this have to Mozart’s being poisoned?  If you knew you had access to a person, say, as a family member, or spouse, who had an unusual gift of which they remained unaware because nobody would confirm it, would you be tempted to try to control it, and use it for own ends?  Might you be tempted to make a way to assure yourself that you would never have to worry about Wolf’s finding out the truth of this gift?  If so, just how might you accomplish this?  One dose of poison to murder him? Or small doses to weaken him and make him vulnerable to being controlled by the one doing the poisoning?  Just some food for thought…

*M4B=Mozart For Believers

 

 

 

 

Wolf and the ‘controllers’…M4B*

If you will consider the possibility that much of what you have been told about Wolfgang Mozart is false — either mistaken or deliberate disinformation — you might gain a better understanding of who he was and what his life was really like.

If you were to begin with that premise, you might want to research an odd common denominator in his life — that he was not allowed to, or able to, live alone.  You will see that virtually everywhere he went, up until the last months of his life when he and Constanze were separated for health reasons, he was almost always surrounded by people in his daily life.

If you look a little deeper into his family life you will find that his marriage to Constanze caused a great deal of conflict with his father Leopold and sister, Nannerl.  Why would this be? you might ask.  Was Constanze simply not good enough?  Or could there have been another and more sinister reason?  In fact, you will find that Constanze is buried at one end of Salzburg and Leopold and Nannerl at another.  That might give you a hint.

Leopold made repeated claims that Wolf was unable to take care of himself, and that he was ‘not good with money.’  This is, imo, a significant clue to what was really going on.  Translation:  Leopold did everything possible to make sure Wolf could not make a living comfortably on his own.  In fact, it seems he did everything possible, short of an actual tether, to manipulate Wolf.  He had no compunction about complaining that, of course, Wolf and Constanze had to move again, because they didn’t have any money.  Leopold had no problem, in fact, virtually slandering Wolf and his inability to earn a living as Leopold thought he should.

And herein lies the key:  Wolf had a controller.  And when Wolf married Constanze she became the controller, leaving Leopold and Nannerl in the lurch.  Wolf was even virtually disinherited by Leopold, and I think this might have been why.

The grisly truth about Wolf’s life was that beneath that splendid and brilliant, cheerful and sarcastic exterior was an exploited child tethered to someone with ill intent, trying to manipulate him and  his gifts against God’s will for him.  In fact, if you look at the Requium in that light, you may gain a new perspective…

M4B*=Mozart For Believers

 

 

 

The Anti-Mozarts…”Christians” who are comfortable with slander and murderous ill intent with an end of financial gain…:-0 M4B*

Long ago, when I was caught up in the web created by my Mother (whom I believe was being used by the dark angel I call Lermontov) I found myself in need of a topic for my undergraduate honors degree.  I was horrified by what looked to me to be spiritually depraved behavior on the part of my birth family toward me and this great gift of die zauberflote that I had sworn to do my best to protect (even though that backfired).

While I was away from Bucknell, at the University of Edinburgh, I spent a year studying Shakespeare (plus two history courses).  Every day there was a lecture on a different play.  I sat in the drafty, cavernous lecture hall, able to see my breath, listening with what should have been rapt attention.  But, instead, I found myself distracted.  While studying in the English lit study hall (where the U provided copies of all textbooks, so no one had to buy them) I had discovered Ben Jonson.  I found that he, though living in the shadow of Will Shakespeare, was also a dynamic and controversial dramatist.  I began to feel a kinship toward his use of satire, especially when it came to the hypocrisy of the Puritans, who were running rampant at that time in Elizabethan England.  I found we had something in common that Will and I did not — a strong distaste for religious and spiritual hypocrisy with the end of fraudulent financial gain.

And so my thesis developed.  Why was it that Jonson seemed to go out of his way to take them on?  What was their response to him? Were the same agendas he was writing about then applicable to me and my situation now?  Yes, I decided.  And so my paper developed.  It has now been published online: http://digitalcommons.bucknell.edu/honors_theses/343/

When I wrote this paper I had no idea what I would yet have to face –thank goodness, as I would have been overwhelmed.  As I work today to untangle myself and die zauberflote from what I call the ‘vortex of the evil eye’ that took Wolf’s life before his time and has tried to silence me forever, I find that I must comment on the behavior of some of the nest of those with ill-intent who are blocking me.  Their common denominator seems to be that they call themselves “Christians”, yet they are comfortable with having murderous ill intent toward me and my children.  Of course, since humility and righteousness are prerequisites for any of us actually being able to call ourselves Christians, the world that they live in is probably that of the ‘working of error’, or what I call the Kingdom of the Night.  It is ruled by — you guessed it — the dark angel, Lermontov.  And so they gather around and try to seek out any whiff of weakness in me while whirling like dervishes, comfortable that any agenda will remain hidden, while they try to ‘steal’ die zauberflote and use it against God’s will to make money for themselves, thinking that they will stay free of consequences (while conveniently forgetting what happened to Saphira and Ananias!)…

So, in a sense, perhaps nothing has changed since Jonson’s day after all….:-0

M4B=Mozart For Believers

 

 

 

For my sister, “Starla” — a Mother’s Day wish come true…:-)M4B*

There has been a secret in our family…one, in fact, that my birth family has risked life and limb and their very souls to keep from coming to light. My Father almost died by his own hand because of it. My Mother tried to put curses on me and my children because of it. My family moved away from my home town to a remote area a six-hour drive away because of it. My sister has moved halfway around the world because of it.

My birth family attempted to use my precious children to continue the persecution that this secret represented. They were targeted from birth, it seemed. At the time, there appeared to be little I could do to prevent it.

But Gd in his great mercy finds a way to use even the most horrible situations for good. All of this is beyond our earthly comprehension. As I watched the consequences of my birth family’s predatory treatment of my children, my heart was breaking and my soul was seared with almost incomprehensible grief. But the Lrd was telling me to “Rejoice!” How could I possibly do this, I wondered. And yet, I did my best to make a sacrifice of praise of what I could not understand.

But now, this year, this Mother’s Day (which also happens to be my birthday) I do have an answer, and it has been worth the wait.

The Lrd has used all the tumult of my childrens’ relationships with my birth family to get the secret out into the light. The secret itself — my birth family attempted to put a ‘mark’ on me. This was done in stealth and deceit, through systematic intermittent poisoning. The goal was to make sure that, even with this great gift of die zauberflote, I would have no alternative but to doubt Gd. I was supposed to believe I did not have His favor, but they did. I was supposed to believe I was not ‘good’ enough to go to Heaven, but they were.

My birth family treated me as though I was already dead and waited for something to happen. What did happen was that Gd has turned our family upside down.

And there has been a great concept at work here. Children cannot lie to their Mother, even if they wish. Children always tell the truth to one who loves them, through their word and action.

My children are of no more use to you, “Starla.” 🙂

*M4B=Mozart For Believers

Wolf, me and the “Amadeus” slander factory…:-0

Recently I taught a room full of second-graders for the day.  It was an interesting experience.  During storytelling time the lesson plan (devised by the regular teacher) instructed them to sit cross-legged on small carpet squares while the story was read.  It was, to me, a rather confusing story — Goldilocks and the Three Bears, but in a play put on by penguins.  So, to some extent, I don’t hold it against the students that not all were interested.

I discovered quickly that half of the class had decided on their own not to sit and listen to the story.  Instead, they were running around ‘cleaning up’ the classroom and chattering. I thanked the students who had been on task and was planning to take down their names (from their name tags) so that their teacher would give them credit for this.  Then, one of the off-task girls came running up to me, very excited.  “Mrs. B, we’ve all  written our names on the blackboard so that our teacher will know we were the ones that cleaned up the room!”.  I nodded and smiled to myself.  It was, in fact, possible to outsmart a second-grader!  On my notes to the lesson plan I added, “It looks like all the students who were off-task during the reading time have written their names on the blackboard.” 🙂

And what does this have to do with Wolfgang Mozart?  Or me, for that matter? Most anyone who knows anything about Wolf will acknowledge that either he had some very bad luck during his life or there were a number of people badmouthing him wherever he went.  When else has a musician simply out to do their job created such controversy?  But, no matter where Wolf turned, he was met by those trying to block him and destroy his credibility.  It is my position that he was slandered, and the slander contributed to his untimely death.  And it is my belief that the ominous movie “Amadeus” combines most of the slanderous myths about him into one carefully-crafted package so that anybody could simply despise Mozart as a person while stealing his music and performing as though they were he.

And what does that have to do with me, much less a room full of second-graders? Wherever I have gone and turned there have been those who have either insinuated themselves into my life through stealth, or whom I have no alternative but to interact with.  Some have flattered me to my face and slandered me behind my back.  Others have been comfortable with outright attack and persecution.  One of the most difficult situations I have ever faced has been acknowledging that one of my most cherished family members chose this route.  I was too devastated and grieving to do anything but remain in denial for quite some time.  It has only been recently that I have been able to accept the things I cannot change.

When I started writing Piper to the Alternative long ago, I wrote about the “Vienna Mystery” surrounding Mozart’s death.  I imagined that there was a vortex of negative energy around him that I call the “vortex of the evil eye” that caused his death.  A number of people close to him had agreed to his murder.  They treated him as though he was already dead and waited for something to happen.  At that time I had no intention or understanding that I too might possibly be a part of that negative vortex, and that my own life, worst-case scenario, could also be at stake.

And who are those people who have gathered around me and perhaps even agreed to my murder?  Who are those ‘oh so helpful’ individuals who seem to think I am oblivious to the fact that they treat me as though I am already dead and then seem to be waiting for something to happen?  Let me give you a clue — they have all written their names on the blackboard. They have slandered me to you.  They have deliberately claimed to be a part of my inner circle and then have gone out of their way to make false representations about me.

They, like the second-graders, have managed to solve the problem for me.

 

“Nominal” Christians…M4B*

keith m mcelwain taj mahal

When I was a child growing up in Fairfield, Connecticut, we lived in a nice three-bedroom house.  My father was a metallurgical engineer.  He had done well for himself.  He started out as a poor cowboy on a farm in Yankton, South Dakota.  He put himself through the South Dakota School of Mines and graduated with a degree in metallurgy.  He was quickly hired on by a steel company in Chicago, where I was born.  He then changed jobs and was soon transferred to the East Coast.

My father was an avid reader.  We had only one bookcase in our house, surprisingly, as he read everything from the ancient Greeks to contemporary history.  He borrowed nearly all his books from the library, so didn’t need a lot of space for them.  But there was one Book that sat on the shelves throughout those years — the Bible.  I cannot recall my parents taking it out, even dusting it off.  It just sat there, among all the other books.  There didn’t seem to be much need for the Wrd in our household.  That is because we were what I would now call ‘nominal’ Christians.

We were Methodists.  And yes, I know now that there are thriving churches of every denomination where Believers can be fed, so I am not pouncing upon the poor maligned Methodists.  It just happened to be our fate.  There are also at least two Methodist ministers in our family — both cousins on my father’s side.

Our Methodist Church, http://www.goldenhill.org/, is one of the loveliest neo-Gothic churches I have seen anywhere, with a full pipe organ, a choir with paid soloists, ushers who back then wore morning coats with carnations in their lapels, and a delightful area called the “Pullman Chapel” where the children had service.

What we learned from that church was how to excel at being nominal Christians.  We put issues of substance first, and complained when Gd didn’t give us everything we wanted instantly.  We learned fellowship, with cookouts, and weekend getaways.  I am sure it was mere coincidence that many of the wealthy people who lived on “the Hill” attended that church. We were, of course, in awe of them.  Gd had obviously favored them and not us.

We did say grace maybe once or twice a year — certainly at Easter and Xmas. And we were always present at church.  The only time we missed that I am aware of was when President Kennedy was assassinated.  That Sunday we sat in front of the black+white tv eating tv dinners (yes, really) and watched Lee Oswald being murdered by Jack Ruby.

It’s really hard to get through to people when they become nominal Christians.  They think they are doing everything right!  If you try to disciple them by nudging them toward the Wrd or — heaven forbid — repentance — we are usually met with defiance and outrage…

So that too, I now believe, was the crisis our Lrd Jesus Christ faced when he dealt with the Pharisees and Sadducees.  They already ‘knew’ they were going to heaven.  They had nothing to learn.  They needed nothing.  They did not realize that they were already mostly dead inside and only yelling at them could hopefully wake them up…:-0

*M4B=Mozart For Believers

 

 

 

 

 

MinnegeddonPartDeux — an important lesson learned from the untimely death of Mozart, M4B*

Most of what we read about Mozart is slanted to some extent and some of it is completely false.  Some who write about him have little or no actual understanding of what he was really about, so they have to guess.  Others are deliberately trying to cover up what happened to him so that they can benefit from this disaster as did those who were alive in 1791.  I could be wrong.  I could be mistaken.  But I don’t think so.  I will let you read my words and decide for yourself what to think.

It seems to me that Mozart had an unusual gift of ‘shalom’ that nobody confirmed to him,  It was this gift that gave his music something extra — a spark of brilliance unheard in the compositions of others — a profound sense of excitement — a promise of something wonderful.  When Mozart’s music is played by others (even those who while pretending to ‘love’ Mozart actually despise him and try to pretend they are him) it has what has been called the “Mozart Effect.”  But that is really rather lame compared to the reality that you would experience if you were in the same room with him, hearing him perform his beautiful pieces for the first and perhaps the only time as he didn’t seem to like performing the same thing twice.  People were bowled over by him — not only by his music, but by his character and his personality.  In general, they tended to look for something to despise — especially when he was no longer a cute little kid.  Some went out of their way to sandbag him out of envy and jealousy.  You see, he was just ‘too’ — too smart, too talented, too arrogant, too politically incorrect.  Such tumult surrounded him wherever he went that he was continually locked out of appointments, steady work, commissions and other sources of income.  He became, in fact, a marked man.

It is my thinking that those close to him for the most part befriended him with ill-intent — flattering him to his face and slandering him behind his back.  They were all in agreement that ‘he had to go’.  So they consistently and deliberately ignored this extra gift of ‘shalom’ and did their best to take him down with dirty tricks.  He may, as he said, even have been poisoned (whether that is actually what killed him or it was done as a matter of control I cannot yet say).  They, in effect, treated him as though he was already dead and then waited for something to happen.  It was what I call the Vortex of the Evil Eye.

I am greatly blessed by the lessons of Mozart’s life, and this is perhaps the most important.  Because of what happened to him, I make sure to loose the blessed Holy Spirit of this gift of ‘shalom’ that is die zauberflote continually, to bring everyone into the light — especially those whom I know personally, for some of those have apparently tried to do the same thing to me that they did to him.  It is for that reason that so many know of me, and yet nothing is said at the level of the press.  Apparently, I’m not supposed to make it that far.

But I know die zauberflote, and it performs miracles whether there is resistance or acceptance.  I believe that by making sure to examine every relationship and bring all to the light that nobody will be able to use this gift of shalom against Gd’s will — not even a group such as the one I call “Monostatos’ Orchestra”…

*M4B = Mozart For Believers…

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