A Simple Christmas…M4B*

Because of the persecution at the hands of my birth family, which included being systematically poisoned in their attempts to control this great gift of shalom that is die zauberflote and try to use it against God’s will, Christmas has a special meaning for me. I learned it the hard way. At the time, I could not understand why it seemed that God had abandoned me to people who insisted on turning themselves into monsters. Yet nonetheless I willingly stood in ankle-deep icy mud, at times with tears running down my face, and sang Christmas carols with the neighborhood children in my hometown of Fairfield, Connecticut. Although I came to realize that the persecution would intensify during the holidays, I fairfield house vnever lost my love of every piece of music connected to Yeshua, the Messiah.

But much of the hooplah came to make me quite miserable. The tree, the tinsel, the cotton batting on the mantle with a cardboard sleigh and reindeer, and of course, “Santa Claus” — whoever that was — came to represent to me an abyss of hopelessness.

“Let’s have our Christmas!” my Mother would chuckle, as she got out her notepad to record which gift was from whom, so we could immediately send thank-you notes for everything under the tree.

Well, that was it. The Bible sat dusty and untouched on a bookshelf, and everything swirled around who got what. And of course, I seemed to end up with items I had never wished for nor could ever use. That seemed to be part of the orchestration.

At the time, being quite young, it was all very confusing. Now, looking back, I can see how God has used everything for good, for I literally cannot tolerate anything having to do with Christmas that does not directly lift up the Lord Jesus Christ. I no longer ‘celebrate’ what I call ‘Xmas’. No tree. No lights. No wrappings. Just the music. And The Presence.

And I am richly blessed…I invite you to do the same…:-)

*M4B=Mozart For Believers

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A very Nazi Xmas…M4B*

We are all supposed to think that WWII ended in 1945 and all traces of Nazism are either demolished or illegal, but, speaking of my own experience, I must disagree…

When I was growing up, I felt as though I were living in some sort of bizarre Nazi camp; one not unlike Dora from which the illegally housed immigants were worked to death in the military installations of Mittlework and Nordhausen to create the fantastic V-1 and V-2 rockets.  I am exaggerating, of course, to some extent, for literally speaking, my existence was far superior to theirs.  However, emotionally and spritually speaking, there was an unfortunate relevance.

Of all the persecution that I received in my birth family, one of the most hideous aspects of it was the spectacle called “Christmas”.  I call it “Xmas”, as it blotted out every conceivable vestige of what The Lrd Jesus Christ is really all about. Ours was about tinsel and cotton padding on the mantel, and was as empty.

The worst trick that my Mother seemed to enjoy playing on that holiday was what I ended up calling a game of ‘substitution’.  Whatever gifts it was that I wanted usually ended up on my sister’s chair, while my gifts were things that were irrelevant to me, such as a holder for my records, or sports equipment which I had no interest in.  I learned to prepare for the indignity by locating as many gifts as possible ahead of time, so that my sister would not see me reduced to tears Xmas morning.  Apparently, the theme of my life, according to my birth family, was supposed to have been that ‘god’ (whatever that was) was blessing my sister and cursing me.

This was such a strange and lonely time of year.  We had no family in Connecticut.  A colleague of my father’s included us every Thanksgiving as extended family, but at Xmas time we were on our own. I used to think that the Nazi’s must have celebrated Xmas in a similar way — with their haves and have nots, blotting out everything that was true and graceful and substituting that which is cold and dark.   When I grew older and became involved with a family who had come to the US after the war as part of Wernher Von Braun’s team (specializing in jet engines, however; not rockets) I came to understand that my impressions of our family Xmas were not at all incorrect.

Since those sad times I have been able for the most part to happily let go of Xmas almost entirely.  I don’t decorate, and only participate when I feel I have no choice.  I always preferred Chanukah anyhow. 🙂

*M4B=Mozart For Believers

 

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